Thursday, July 23, 2009

Venting

Sometimes it seems I only use this page to vent. Like today, when I found that 4 bureaucrats with no plant knowledge have vetoed my landscape design for the new Town Centre and asked that I make it:
"Less prickly"
"Shorter" and
"More Shade"
Translation: "We don't want evergreens. We want deciduous trees, and make the shrubs dwarfs so we can still see the cars in the parking lot behind."

These were the criteria which I had used to select plants:
Hardy to wind, drought, full sun, pollution and road salt.
Multi season interest.
Must be plants not already in use in a Town green space, with the idea that it will help inform the public on a wider variety of plant material available.
Must be available in a local nursery. Buy local.

One of the bureaucrats, who fancies himself a bit of a gardener, also suggested both Euonymus and Crimson King Maple instead of the choice and rare evergreens I had selected.
Note: Being known as an avid gardener is not the same as knowing anything about plants, and shouldn't be thought synonymous with taste either.
Crimson Kings are a selection of Norway maple, those are the ones responsible for spreading the black tar spot fungus blotting the landscape every summer. The also have a tendency to generate thousands of seedlings which grow anywhere and everywhere. They should be banned from sale.
The only thing wrong with Euonymus is that it is an obvious choice. And by obvious I mean common. And by common I mean banal and pedestrian. Familiarity breeds contempt. And I do find euonymus contemptible. In my opinion, if a plant has to be variegated to be interesting, then it really isn't interesting, is it?

A number of thoughts went through my head at their plant suggestions.
One was that, if I added some daylilies and some spirea it would look as good as a Walmart parking lot.
Another was that it was a little like telling Degas that "the Ballerinas are nice, but had he ever thought of painting dogs playing poker?"
I cannot get autocad to export the landscape plan to a jpeg or bitmap file for your viewing pleasure, so here is the elevation sketch I submitted. I am posting it here because no one will ever see it otherwise. Try picturing it without evergreens and with shorter shrubs in the centre. And while you are at it, change the sign to one that says "Mud View Trailer Park - The folks that live here are homely."

2 comments:

Lori said...

Maybe you should suggest a nice concrete wall, say, oh, six feet high. Purty. And if they want euonymus that badly, they can have mine. I didn't plant them, I swear. The green and white version is just blah; the variegated yellow is an abomination.

Lester's Mama said...

Like I always say, "Boys are stupid."